Yay! Twilight Zone marathon! Rod Serling is so fucking hot. everything I want in a man, well if he weren't dead. Plus his ties rule.

Yet know, my master, God omnipotent,
Is mustering in his clouds on our behalf
Armies of pestilence; and they shall strike
Your children yet unborn and unbegot,
That lift your vassal hands against my head
And threat the glory of my precious crown.
Tell Bolingbroke--for yond methinks he stands--
That every stride he makes upon my land
Is dangerous treason: he is come to open
The purple testament of bleeding war;
But ere the crown he looks for live in peace,
Ten thousand bloody crowns of mothers' sons
Shall ill become the flower of England's face,
Change the complexion of her maid-pale peace
To scarlet indignation and bedew
Her pastures' grass with faithful English blood.

-Richard III, act III, scene iii

"if you called your dad you could stop it all"

CNN is warming me to accents I used to be rather uncomfortable with in intimate situations. Having (Asian) Indian doctors has always made me very uncomfortable, but now I think it was due to the welfare doctor situation rather than a lack of communication.

Here's a silly pic from Halloween.

Speaking of stupid, a coworker and I just ordered 24 bottles of Brain Wash. She got a 12 pack of blue and I got 6 blue, 6 red. $58 total, including shipping. Ouch!

In May2002, our government "captured" a US citizen named Jose Padilla on US soil and tried to hold him as an "enemy combatant"! Jebus, what the hell happened to habeas corpus and all those other wonderful goodies that the constitution is supposed to tell the government not to fuck with? Of course recent news has it that the courts have told the Feds to slurp shit and die, but the guy they "captured" is still rotting in a military base somewhere until the Feds decide they're tired of him and let the civilian courts do what they’re supposed to. Of course the guy they “captured” is accused of conspiring to build a dirty bomb (and, I suppose, detonate it somewhere) and he could be tried in civilian courts for anything up to treason and other really bad things so he isn’t going anywhere soon.

"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home.'"
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"It's not unusual."

Flipping through my posts, I noticed that I was completely gone from thursday 12/18 till tuesday 12/23. I don't remember being that lost.

Yesterday was the 10th anniversary of the killing of Brandon Teena, the transsexual that later became the subject of the film Boys Don’t Cry. Here I thought my Christmas was rough in ’93.

An episode of the Twilight Zone just came on. It has Dennis Hopper playing a neo-nazi. He's hotter than Brando in Streetcar in this.

I think I need to start shaving my face more often so I can be on the prowl again.

My cold is fading. I worked a whole day today, managed the entire "grind". Found out that I was rather lost last weekend, people keep telling me I was doing things I can't remember.

Benny and Barney: Las Vegas Undercover

Made it in to work today. I wish I hadn't.

"Run away, turn away, run away"

Got at Criterion of Wild Strawberries, bottle of Crown Royal, and a 12 of Newcastle! Friends rule.

Pleasantville is on. I saw this in the theater, it made me cry.

Friend is coming to pick me up for holiday food and other shit. They'll have plenty of beer and other booze so I won't mind it much. I'm still sick and kinda weepy, so it's still gonna be tough. I'll try to make it to another party after, but I don't know how well I'll hold up. I'm glad I have places to go, but a part of me just wants to stay home and cry.

I burned my left hand with hot water. Hausmate had gone to drop off his girlfriend at her place and was coming back to get me so we could go to the klub (I think he passed out there, it's been over 90 mins now.) Having this nasty cold I wanted to take a hot bath but I'd already put on a lot of layers of clothing so I opted to wash my face and arms instead. The hot water knob on the sink in my bathroom (I have the master bedroom) is rather odd, it hits maximum through-put at its half-way mark, but the temperature keeps going up as normal. This makes it somewhat difficult to tell if the knob is at 1/4 open or 3/4 open. Oh well.

Ug, sick. This feels nasty.

Mr. Malvo was found guilty of crimes committed when he was 17. I have very conflicted feelings about this case. He's just a fucking kid! If he is to face the responsibilities of an adult, then he should face them all. Driver's license, voting, buying beer, the lot. We should get either all of it or none of it.

Ebay again. It's been a while since I got anything from there, so I suppose it's not bad. I spent $7 (including shipping) for some 9.5"x12" prints of Munch's the Scream, Puberty, Ashes, Madonna, the Dance of Life, and Snow Falling in the Lane. It's some Taschen poster book. The seller didn't post pictures, but I'm familiar enough with Taschen books that I'm not worried. I just wanted a poster-sized print of Puberty but this was the best I could find (yes, I went to the poster sites, they only had the Scream and Vampire.) Tomorrow, I'm going to try to get a 23"x18" print of a photo of Leon Trotsky. Hot!

My haus-mate's cat is seven kinds of psycho.

I bought some christmas presents today. Of course I am not religious and despise the taint of christianity, but this provides a good excuse to provide a material expression of my love for those closest to me. I got a few DVDs from Amazon for those friends that live far away from me and some books from Barnes & Noble for some friends that live near me. The capitalist flavor sticks in my mouth like thick peanut butter, but I hoped I picked each gift well enough to respect the relationship I have with each person. It's not a piece of art I made for each person, but rather a piece of art I found for them. Second best, I know, but I hope each gift will be received with the love that it is given.

The news of the 100 year anniversary of flight is big today. Not like there's so much more to talk about today.

Design Flaw in Arkansas Quarters:

The United States Treasury has announced they are recalling the new "Arkansas" quarters.

"We are recalling all of the new Arkansas quarters that were recently issued," Treasury Undersecretary Russell Shackelford said in a press conference Monday.

"This comes in the wake of numerous reports to this agency that the quarters will not work in parking meters, toll booths, vending machines, pay phones, or other coin-operated devices. We believe the problem lies in a design flaw," said Skackelford.

The winning design for the Arkansas quarter was submitted by Arkansas University student, William Mattox.

"Apparently, the duct tape holding the two dimes and nickel together keeps jamming the coin-operated devices."

Grammar quip. "The capture of Saddam Hussein" vs. "Saddam Hussein's capture." All through this conflict the news has been avoiding possessives when it comes to Hussein and Iraq.

Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory is on TNT but I'm watching the Critic instead. I hate it when films are shown pan and scan instead of letterbox. I hate them being chopped up for commercials even more. I'll watch some inane cartoon instead.

When I got home last night, CNN was reporting that Saddam Hussein had been caught. This raised a few questions in my mind. Where should he be tried? I think the Hague but that's not gonna happen, no death penalty there. Is this going to lessen the attacks on troops in Iraq? Probably not, I don't think Hussein was in charge of those anyway. Is this a good/important thing? The constant news coverage seems to suggest as much, but I don't care about one man, only promoting stability and freedom (as contradictory as those two notions are) in the region. Why is CNN covering this story in such detail, off the cuff? Up-to-the-minute news is misleading at best and outright lies at worst. Just do a quick blurb with what is known and go about your normal schedule. Dumping so much speculation and imagination on the population is worse than double speak.

Logan's Run is on cable right now. I didn't see this until about two years ago when Spuds picked it up. I've grown to really like it. It's not as good as Soylent Green or Blade Runner but it's still quite watchable.

Do you think I'm incorrigible? One of my friends keeps telling me so.

1. Incapable of being corrected or reformed: an incorrigible criminal.
2. Firmly rooted; ineradicable: incorrigible faults.
3. Difficult or impossible to control or manage: an incorrigible, spoiled child.

Someone once quipped: "Everyone talks about the weather but no one ever does anything about it." It's supposed to rain most of this week. Las Vegas is so dry that these brief respites brighten my otherwise pallid demeanor. I grow homesick for January in Santa Cruz, where it rains almost every day for an entire month. I didn’t feel soaked or miserable or cold; I felt a part of nature and the world. Here I feel more like a toy train, riding on top of an artificial track at the whim of some social misfit.

Now, in the "no war but the class war" department

Quicken.com - News Center: Hussein's Capture Seen Boosting U.S. Stock Market


Dow Jones Newswires
NEW YORK -- The long-awaited capture of fallen Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein is expected to fuel a rise in U.S. stock prices early Monday, market experts said Sunday.

"As the war goes on, obviously there's going to be good news and bad news. In this case it's good news. And the response will be, in my judgment, up," said Hugh Johnson, chief investment officer at First Albany in Albany, N.Y. "You should have a fairly strong opening tomorrow."

=====

How naïve are these people? When news is good, they buy more stock? Good news makes them spend more time at the feeding trough? How does the capture of one man suddenly make stocks more valuable than they were twelve hours earlier?

Last moment plans blow. I asked someone to go to the Christmas Nightmare show tonight, but she couldn't make it. Hausmate and his g/f have free tickets if they want them but they didn't know it so they made other plans. Oh well, I'm still going.

So last night, I got about 3 cases of beer. I loaded it all in the fridge and hoped it would be nice and cool when I got home tonight. Of course the fridge decides to be evil and is now emitting a high pitched squeal instead of cooling my beer. Must not like Guinness.

The episode of MASH where Henry gets sent home is on. This one always makes me cry.

I forgot to mention what we watched last night. Frida is a really good film. Julie Taymor is a wonderful director. The women in this film have such tight bodies, all firm and tiny. The symbolism tends to be somewhat obvious but overall I really like it.

Back to work after two days off. Wednesday, I managed to do some laundry for the first time in a few months. I wash my socks and underwear as needed but I have enough shirts and pants to last more than six months. The sheets can get stinky, however. Good thing I have a few sets of those. I managed to get 6 loads washed (pants, shirts, and socks) before running out of fabric softener sheets. I’d meant to get more but I was lazy. Laundry takes a lot of effort. I might grab some tonight but who knows. A friend called me after that ungodly mess and we managed to make it to Sanctuary, our weekly Goth night. The new venue is doing better. At Icon we could have 8-10 people nights. Here we hit at least 30 all the time. I’ve been bringing DVDs for the DJs to play. I brought Taxi Driver and some other lovely pieces I have. I’ve only got about 50 DVDs but it’s a rather odd collection. Odd enough for the DJs at a Goth club to play them every week. I called it an early night and went home with my hausmate and his girlfriend. We had the X-box plugged into the television so we could watch some films. Not a bad arrangement. On Thursday, I tried to put away most of my clothes and do some cleaning. I didn’t feel like going anywhere until hausmate and his g/f decided to go to the Crown and Anchor. I wonder what they think of us there. It’s on the jock side of things, plus British food is just fucking nasty, but at least they have garden burgers. The three of us settled on those and got fries instead of the nasty baked beans that normally come with them. Three or four beers later we headed home to watch another film. Overall a typical weekend for me. I’m off again tomorrow for a show so it’s going to be a short work week!

Put Streetcar Named Desire on when we came back from the club. Bad idea.

Hausmate came out from his room, took a shower, put on work clothes. He grabbed a Skullsplitter and downed it in a gulp. Then he laid down on the couch and fell asleep. I wouldn't normally think this strange, but he opened the sliding glass door and didn't even get a blanket.

Time Cube

Last Statement - James Collier

What the fuck is this about putting Ronald Ray-gun on the dime? Hasn't history taught us that he was really a pig fucker? Give me a break and let the old man die alone and forgotten.

Yahoo! News - Woman Gets 10 Years for McDonald's Mayo Spat: "HOUSTON (Reuters) - A Texas woman was sentenced to 10 years in jail for running over the manager of a McDonald's with her car because she wanted mayonnaise on her cheeseburger. "

Only in America. How fucking fat and stupid have we become? Fucking veal waiting to be eaten.

arg fuck hell! "pictures of you" being used in a commercial. fuck the world.

Cable's finally on. I even got a tv working in the bedroom. Watching MASH now.

Fell asleep on the couch at about 2 am. Hausmate got home at about 6am and we went to the Crown and Anchor. Had about three beers and a garden burger, then came home and crashed. Of course I had to wake up early for the cable tech to show. He was supposed to be here between 1 and 3 but showed up at noon while I was still asleep. Goody. I got ahold of him anyway and he's supposed to come back out. It's almost two now and I just want to crawl back into bed.

I have a few words about Blade Runner. Questions, really. Fuck the "is Deckard a replicant" discussion. Why is Deckard so rough with Rachael? Even if the two are replicants, why be so abusive? Does Pris mean to kill J.F. from the start? After Roy shows up, she wraps herself around J.F., arms and legs, spider-like. Why does Roy only break two of Deckard's fingers? One for each of the female replicants. What about Leon? Did Roy only care about the women or was he only listing the most important thoughts so as to give Deckard a fighting chance? Why is Gaff always so near? Even if Deckard is a replicant, if they trusted him on this job, shouldn't they let him do it?

The comment counter isn't working. I'll try to figure it out, but in the meantime deal with it.

Never name a cat Eris.

I hate myself I want to die.

Stupidity seems to be breeding at an ever faster rate.

The Vintage Library

Hey, buy me stuff. Or at least look at what I want.

"She bought a clock down on Hollywood Blvd the day she left.
It felt sad."

me: mow
me: I want somebody to share
her: i drubk
me: share the rest of my life
her: look elsewhere
me: share my innermost thoughts
her: you big sap
me: know my intimate details
her: are you singing?
me: someone who'll stand by my side
her: i need to go bed
me: and give me support
her: need to wake up in the am's
me: yes I'm singing
her: i ain;'t gonna marry you
her: nite nite
me: hey
*** her signed off at Sat Nov 29 03:17:05 2003.

I feel bad. My anarchist credentials need to be revoked. I went to Frys and bought a pair of headphones and a some rabbit ears for my TV. I wasn't supposed to buy anything today. At least I fasted.

Movin' on up! I got some rabbit ears from Fry's. Now I get to watch TV without all that static!

That last post didn't come out right, but I don't have enough energy to write it right. I'm too busy living/being fucked in the head to care at the moment.

Not a good day. My company fell asleep on the couch so I went to bed. When I woke up, she was gone. I'd expected that since she had an early class. I had a piece of bread, and took my pills. I threw up a little while later. I didn't feel sick at all, I just hadn't had enough to coat the pills; so I thought I'd be okay to go to work. My hausmate offered a ride. I wanted to get a bagel. We went to Einsteins. I had two bites, and I was going to be sick again. I told him to pull over. He can't drive well; he didn't pull over in time. I got sick in the car. We started back home so I could change, there was still time to get to work. I was sick a few more times. We got home. I cleaned up. I called work to say I'd be two hours late. The sickness didn't fade; I called again to say I wouldn't be in. My hausmate left and didn't return until late. I was hungry and wanted to be with friends. He returned after eating with some friends. He passed out on the blanket I'd set out to nap on since I couldn't sit at the computer for very long.

Watched Heathers and ate nachos with friends last night. I really miss having movie night. I have a subscription to Netflix and hardly watch anything.

My blog is one year old today.

I recently reread two Edward Gorey anthologies (Amphigorey and Amphigory Too) that I've had for years and I wanted to find the third (Amphigorey Also) so I hopped on Amazon to look for it. It seems that all three are out of print, along with most of Gorey's catalogue. That really sucks.

I was going through the various amazon.com wishlists my friends have when I stumbled on Spuds'. It made really sad to see. She hadn't logged on to change anything since she moved over a year ago.

"November spawned a monster"

I just found a video I didn't know I had on my hard drive. Bronski Beat - Smalltown Boy. I saw Tori Amos cover this. The video is much like the Smiths videos I know, but painfully coming out of the closet. "The love that you seek will never be found at home."

I had a long-assed weekend. Mixing narcotics, booze, nachos, and dancing can be a bad idea. Not that I've ever tried it, but I think it would be a bad idea.

"...when he shall die,
Take him and cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night
And pay no worship to the garish sun."

I am getting really fucking sick of this town.

I was really hungry when I got home, but I didn't feel like making anything. I remembered a burrito I'd gotten two nights ago that I hadn't eaten (I ordered a bunch of grub and didn't finish it all.) So I bite in and the shit has beef in it. Fucking hell, why can't the mexican food places in this town do anything right?

I keep getting this intense home sickness, but I don't know where "home" is. Bakersfield, San Bernardino, Santa Cruz, with my folks? I don't know. "Disappear Here." "No Exit."

me: mow
her: don't mow at me
me: fine
her: you cats are all alike
me: ?
her: nothing
her: random nonsense
me: we cats are not all the same
me: some of us have black stripes
me: some of us have orange
me: some of us prefer tuna
me: some of us prefer trout
her: is this some kind of poem?
me: off the tip of my tongue
her: i go bed
her: night
me: but I'm not like those cats
*** her signed off

Two ten year old boys sitting next to me on the bus. I'm wearing a naval officer's coat and my Trotsky watch. They ask if I'm in the navy, I say "No, I got the coat at a thrift store." They seem satisfied with the answer and ask who is on the face of my watch. It's a difficult question to answer since Russia has always been Russia to these little ones. Trying to explain the U.S.S.R. seems rather useless so I answer with "He was a great thinker, a philosopher." They are already bored with my answer and move on to other things.

Oh, Papa (Bela Lugosi) is coming on the tellie. The Ape Man is coming on. When I got my first paycheck from my first job (yes kids, I was 23) I went to the maul to buy some small things to make life living with family livable again. The first thing I got was an 8x10 of Bela, the second was a frame to put it in. He's watched over me ever since.

Jessica Lynch is on Letterman. I thought she said she was done talking. It pisses me off because Charlie Rose is having such a good show tonight and I'd rather be watching that, but this festering wound is more important at the moment.

Yahoo! News - Olympics set to OK transsexual athletes

This debate has been going on forever. What makes gender? I say let the boys and girls play on the same team. Heh.

there were so many people here today. i made twice-baked potatoes for four, then there were six. i made the potatoes last; i fried some more with onions. it feels odd to cook for others; i don't remember doing it before but i remember the ritual. they liked the food; they complimented me for completing the ritual. i think cooking for someone is the most important form of bonding.

GULF WAR SYNDROME BIRTH DEFECTS IN IRAQ EXTREME BIRTH DEFORMITIES FROM DEPLETED URANIUM AMMUNITION

Hehe! I got the bestest presents ever! "Switched on Santa", lovely vinyl moog goodness, by Jean Jacques Perrey, even! And to top that off, a book about obscure German cinema! Yay! My friends rule.

Lol, SNL making fun of Mondale now. Hah.

Chaka Kahn is scary.

A Saturday Night Live episode is on from the 70s. They're making fun of Jean Kirkpatrick. It's funny I know who she is, since I was so young.

Yay! Craigslist is finally in Las Vegas!

craigslist: las vegas online community

Woke up shaking. I thought I was cold, but I didn't stop shaking when I turned up the heat and found more blankets. My lymph nodes are still swollen from being sick. I spilled water when I tried to pour it. I can't remember putting soup on the stove but I can smell it. I haven't had any drugs, I don't get it. Even the residual effects of the cough syrup shouldn't do this. Even if I'd been snorting drugs, my nose shouldn't feel like this. Still shaking, shallow cough. Can't remember what I just said.

Went to see Gene Loves Jezebel tonite. They fucking rocked. I heckled the singer at one point, then during "Desire" he put the mic in my face and made me sing. Later in the same song, some chick jumped on stage and grabbed a mic. They played along with it until they got bored then cut the mic off and went on. Fucking great show.

Doctors dismiss claims Jessica Lynch was raped - www.smh.com.au

Yeah, lies lies and more lies. What about Shoshana?

I don't really like Howard Stern, he just bores me. He's on Dave Letterman right now, and it's rather amusing. Howard is a good interviewer, he's getting more info out of Dave rather than vice versa.

So, as a random fluke of relocation, I am now with two cats. One is fat and an attention whore, the other is black and kinda skittish. The fat one sits under my chair on its side waiting for a chance to strike. He rears up on his hind legs and grabs my left arm away from the keyboard with his front paws. Then he'll bleat like mad till I pet his head. As I pet, he starts to move farther away as if I'm supposed to follow him away from my computer (heh, right,) so I stop petting. He mows a few times then goes back under the chair. This repeats every 20-30 mins. It's fortunate for the cat I've had girlfriends get me used to this behavior or it would be in the microwave by now.

What a shitty night. I've got a flu and I tried to make it to see Echo and the Bunnymen. I was going with two groups of friends. I had a few beers, then got really sick. I went to the bathroom to piss and wound up puking. My friends were worried, they asked if I was okay, if I wanted to go home. I didn't want to, but I knew I had to. I wanted to hang out more, to go to the club after. So I get home and turn on Letterman. During a commercial break, I switch to Charlie Rose and Gary Kasparov is on, more than halfway through his interview. As I'm worried about this, another friend has swollen lymph glands in her neck and no medical insurance. Too much drama.

Friends coming to get me at 7:30 to see the Echo and the Bunnymen show. I'm still sick, tho. Plus I only have about $35, not enough to get through tonight if I have a drink or two then go to the goth club. Not that I think I can make it to the club tonight. I can sleep all day tomorrow, my housemate should be back in town. I'll let him unpack (he's been in New York all week) as I sleep. Friday is the Gene Loves Jezebel show and Saturday there's going to be a big RHPS at the Huntridge which should be fun. I haven't been to Rocky since I played Dr. Scott at UCSC in '99.

Don't ask me why I'm awake at 8am. It has something to do with Nyquil I think.

Someone bring me some chamomile tea. I am so congested it isn't funny. I've been home since 6 and haven't drank or smoked. 3 hot baths haven't helped.

images on the news; there are injured american soldiers. They have numbers drawn on their foreheads in sharpies as some form of triage or identification. They are still strong. Is the media's attempt at the war of attrition on the american spirit that finished our fight in Viet Nam or a show of american courage?

Woot! Cable modem now installed, and the guy showed up an hour early!

A random memory from a few days ago just entered my head. As the last few loads of my gear came out of the van, she grabbed my 18" double ended dildo with her bare hands and carried it into the apartment. I don't remember anyone else other than me and my crass friends from Bakersfield treating it so casually. I asked her to put it in my bedroom. She commented that it was the grossest color she'd ever seen.

I left to get smokes; it was so cold I got my german wool trench out of the closet. As I'm nearing the 7/11, I feel something in the inner pocket. It's my plane ticket from Toronto to Las Vegas from last March.

A friend's birthday.

Back at the korean net cafe. I really need a tablet pc or just risk the wrist pain and write again. While I was shopping for leftover halloween goodness, I got a birthday present for a long to absent friend. We hung out together with a small group. There are too many images for me to recount at the moment, I suppose they will be lost now; "like tears in the rain."

the American Journal of Public Health is publishing a report that states binge drinking is less common on campuses with a more diverse student body. The more blacks and Asians, the less drinking. I think that's caused by the different groups not hanging out with each other and leaving campus to drink with their friends. Just a thought.

Went with two friends to Target to stock up on Halloween goodness. I got an orange skin tight shirt that says "bat-itude" on the front. Goth as fuck.

So I've been too lazy/whatever to call the cable company to get my modem transferred over. I'm sitting in a net cafe (or Korean Cafe, as some have dubbed it) and Maryland and Harmon, just across from UNLV. It's quite tame compared to the ones in Toronto. No drug addicts passed out on the floor or in the bathroom. Plus, you can smoke in here.

Ug, so sore from moving and dancing yesterday. Today I have to clean the old apartment and start unpacking.

All of my stuff is moved. I have a lot to say, but I can't right now. I've been too overwhelmed to have my cable modem moved to the new place, so I'm at a net cafe. Wish me luck.

The smoke from the California fires is finally blowing our way. Las Vegas is covered in a sick, brown haze.

"Why of course the people don't want war. . .
That is understood. But after all, it is the leaders of the
country who determine the policy and it is always a simple
matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy,
a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dic-
tatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought
to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to
do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the
peacemakers for lack of patriotism and exposing the country
to danger. It works the same in any country.."


- Hermann Goering
Nazi SS Officer, on or about 18 April 1946

Fuck fuck fuck. They say you become the thing you hate most. David Bowie is on one of the late night talk shows right now. I have always really hated his stuff; it just seemed uber-commercial tripe to me. I have taken a lot of flack for it. His new song sounds really good. His hair looks like a blonde version of the wig he wore playing Andy in Basquiat. For being over 50, he looks almost as hot as Catherine Denuve in the Hunger where they both played vampires.

Insult to Injury: Raw Deal for Jessica Lynch's Black Comrade-In-Arms

Taiwan to legalize gay marriage.

Damn damn damn. Southern California is on fire. I tried calling my friend in San Bernardino and couldn't get through. Eventually another friend got though and we found out the flames came within 10 blocks of his apartment. I was really afraid.

"Did we get up on the wrong side of the coffin this evening?"

Wow, feel so much better now.

I was getting testy at my friends as we were having trouble moving. We went to eat at Metro Pizza. I ordered a pitcher of Newcastle. My cohorts snidely commented that it was just for me. It was, really, but they drank some of it as well. They had huge pasta dishes that probably weighed more than I do while I stared down at a dinner salad. I got ranch dressing; even though I think I should be avoiding it, it's safe and easy.

We resumed moving. On the last load, I said that I would remain behind. We don't have internet access, TV, stereo, or even a working computer at the new place yet and I knew that I'd still be up for another 4 or 5 hours. When I got back in my apartment, I just sat down with a beer and tried to decompress. I remembered a piece of (snail) mail from the electric company. 48 hour disconnect. I look at the date on it, 10/24, today. I start to panic. I really don't want to get my power shut off again. I can sleep at the new place, I know, but I won't have anything that would keep me sane.

I felt so limp when my power was shut off before. The life and light of my home came to a screaming halt. One can live in a cabin without power, but not an apartment.

I wanted to run. Or to drink enough to put me to sleep quickly. Or to just sleep in the closet where it's dark and quiet. Instead, I put some beer in my backpack and head to the new apartment. It might be the St. John's Wort, but I managed some strength. I managed a plan. I'd call the electric company to get another day, then ask my new housemate to drive me to pay the bill before work tomorrow.

I make it to the new apartment, he isn't there. No panic, I set off to his partner's new apartment. It's just a block away. I lose my way (I don't know the area well.) I knock; she speaks through the door.

"Yes?"

"It's me"

"Give me a moment"

I guess she's putting on a shirt. I don't know why she needs to be modest. She opens the door, but just. I don't understand the posture. When someone I know knocks on my door, I open it wide and they come in, no matter how brief the visit.

I ask if he is here.

"He's gone to the new place"

"I must have just missed him on the road"

(We are both walking.) I go back to the new apartment and he is bathing. He doesn't notice my entrance. I step outside to smoke a clove. As I finish, he steps out of the bath. He startles at my entrance. I tell him about the bill.

"How much do you need?" He reaches for his wallet.

"I have enough to cover it, I just need to get it there"

I feel good that he would loan me the cash. I feel better that I don't need it. I just need a ride. His partner took claim of the car, however. He must be at work in 5 hours. He had said that he was calling in sick to work today, but now it seems that he will go in. I write a check and leave him the bill. His bus trip involves a layover near the electric company's office. He can pay it after work.

I leave to make the call to get an extension. The system is down. I return to tell Ian then leave for (my old) home. I drink some beer and chat with friends online. I finally call. It turns out that I have all day Friday to pay the bill and I won't get turned off until Saturday. So if the check gets to the office (I'm sure it will) I have no problem.

Busy day.

"To absent friends"

I just want to say that friends rule. Two friends in particular, Kat and Dan. They helped us move. I've helped people move before and it sucks, but it's a bonding moment, like when the Amish raise a barn. You are working for the common good.

Okay so I was moving today. As my friend and I were driving back to the old place to pick up some more gear, this kid (early teens) is standing in the street and waving us down. We stopped; he just smiled and hugged the hood! Then he smiled and ran away. It was probably the best performance art piece I've ever seen.

Ug, it's way to fucking early to be alive. I hate moving.

Someone buy me one of these

SR-71 Online - SR-71 Flight Manual

(the plane, not the manual. but a hardcopy of the manual would be cool, too.)

Random quote:

"Pay up or pull out"

-Sen. John McCain on Meet the Press

San Francisco Liberation Radio, a micro-power (read: pirate) radio station was raided on the 16th.

The FCC was established by the Communications Act of 1934 "For the purpose of regulating interstate and foreign commerce in communication by wire and radio so as to make available, so far as possible, to all the people of the United States, without discrimination on the basis of race, color, religion, national origin, or sex, a rapid, efficient, Nationwide, and world-wide wire and radio communication service with adequate facilities at reasonable charges..." It seems to me that they have been used to shut down alternate points of view for the sole purpose of protecting commerce. I can understand wanting to regulate the airwaves only so far as to make sure that stations don't broadcast on top of each other. If you don't like what the station plays, tune to another. By limiting choices and shutting down microstations they limit our choices and only make the air free for corporate rape. Grr. Makes me want to go all Pump Up the Volume and shit.

Bugs enjoy hamster sex

Hmm, doing some more reading I found this (from http://www.personalhealthzone.com/stjohnswort.html)

"Avoid the following substances when using St.-John's-wort: Amino acids tryptophan and tyrosine; amphetamines; asthma inhalants; beer, coffee, wine; chocolate, fava beans, salami, smoked or pickled foods, and yogurt; cold or hay fever medicines; diet pills; narcotics; nasal decongestants. They all contain chemicals that react adversely to hypericin, causing high blood pressure and nausea."

Beer and pickles! I don't want to give those up! Oh well, I suppose I can switch to wine or whiskey.

I started taking St. John's Wort. I feel kinda dizzy. Yesterday, when I started, I didn't fare too well. I ate a soy cheese sandwich with tomato, sprouts, and pickle before taking the pill and a vitamin. On the bus, I drank a protein shake (one of the Odwalla ones) and was feeling rather high by the time I made it to work. After about a half hour, I got really dizzy and started sweating some. I wound up puking. One of my coworkers gave me a ride home. I don't remember much of the next few hours, I was dizzy as hell and had to lay down. I probably fell asleep. The nausea went down enough for me to eat a salad. I called in today because I could still taste bile and I was still dizzy. I managed to eat some more salad and some lentil soup. I'm doing better now. I've had my share of chemicals, but this one (the St. John's Wort) is not like any others that I've had. It's not like Ativan or something that just spins you for a loop, but I'm still kinda spun. I hope this stuff makes me not so moody. I guess I'll know in a few weeks.

FuckThePresident.com

Syndication is weird. Just last week I was watching new-ish episodes of the Simpsons and now this week they're playing very early stuff. The episode where they get their pet dog (Santa's Little Helper) is on now. Most of the early ones are lame, but this one is cute enough.

Apartment living can suck. Granted if the place burns to the ground I don't loose equity or have to deal with anything more than replacing my record collection, but it seems like every day I have to deal with yard work and construction noise.

me: I take a dry cunt as a challenge
her: no you don't. you go straight for the lube

So, I went to see Kill Bill last night. One of my friends picked me up at work and drove me to his place so we could wait for his brother to get home. I haven't seen the pair in a while. I had a few whiskey sours and heard the tales of their recent European vacation. The brothers were wearing shirts from the trip, weird wrinkled fabrics. They got tattoos while they were there, D got a black star and J got a fist holding a rose. Cool stuff. Their mother gave me a TV so old that it doesn't have a coax input. It's still useful, I'll just need a VCR or cable box to make it usable for cable. It doesn't have a remote, just analog dials! It's been a long time since I've seen anything like that. We headed to the Palms to catch the flick. We were surrounded by loud morons. Don't people know that it's not polite to talk in the theater? J yelled at them to shut up. Very shitty audience. The film was wonderful, however. QT's eclectic pastiche is as powerful as ever. I should write more about it, but I want to see it again and not ruin it for people that don't like reading such things before they see it.

Just saw Kill Bill. I didn't mind it.

Religions can suck my balls

but control freaks can lick my taint. Reuters (via CNN) is reporting that a Muslim girl was suspended from her elementary school for refusing to remove her hijab. The school, in an attempt to further control students’ lives and impose their own morbid sensibilities on a generation that wants little to do with them, forbid the wearing of any headgear, including hijabs and yarmulkes. If you make all these kids dress the same, will the be easier to control? Will they listen to your commands? Do their homework every night? Or just resent your fucking guts and start mixing Ricin and ANFO? I can understand prohibiting ceremonial daggers being worn in some areas of public life, but not religious clothing and accessories. I’ll continue to point and laugh at the stupid shits that wear such things, but they should be allowed to wear them.

How's this for gag factor?

Jennifer Loewenstein: Bombing Syria

"Israel made a wise decision when it decided to bomb Syria on October 5th. As a result, the Palestinian terrorist organization Islamic Jihad has called a halt to all suicide bombings. The parents of the 29-year-old female suicide bomber who blew herself up inside Maxim's restaurant in Haifa on Saturday have sent a letter of apology to the Israeli Prime Minister, Ariel Sharon, and to the Mayor of Haifa. In their letter they state explicitly that they would have expected no more fitting a punishment than the demolition of their family home, the measure taken by the IDF after the bombing, and that they are saddened and bewildered by their daughter's action. "We accept our displacement with dignity and take upon ourselves full responsibility for our daughter's senseless action," they wrote. In response to this unprecedented letter, Israeli military authorities stationed outside Jenin offered relatives of the dead woman a thirty-minute reprieve from all travel restrictions, issuing them temporary passes for free travel throughout the northern West Bank if curfew is lifted within the next 24 hours."

Wally George died recently. I used to giggle at his TV show. Of course the only reason I watched it was because it was on right before Request Video on channel 56.

In even stranger news, Meat Beat Manifesto's next album is supposed to be nothing but Dub. Weird.

So today marks the anniversary of the first attack on a commercial airplane. A nitroglycerin bomb went off in the cargo hold of a United flight from Cleveland to Chicago. It was 1933, so they were probably still blaming the anarchists.

Oh brother, I must have gained some weight. It took me a while to get into my really tight pants.

Dead Pool for Arafat.

74 years old, just had a minor heart attack, and Israel is going into Syria. This man so has one week to live.

On the brighter side...

The FCC ruled that the broadcast of Bono saying "this is really, really fucking brilliant" on the Golden Globes was not obscene.

"The word 'f---ing' my be crude and offensive, but, in the context presented here, did not describe sexual or excretory organs or activities," the bureau wrote.


"Rather, the performer used the word 'f---ing' as an adjective or expletive to emphasize an exclamation. Indeed, in similar circumstances, we have found that offensive language used as an insult rather than as a description of sexual or excretory activities or organs is not within the scope of the commission's prohibition of indecent program content."

Someone somewhere in that bloated bureaucracy got a clue.

"caffe latte:

A strong espresso coffee topped with steamed frothed milk."

Now if you ordered a latte, would you expect it to come back with ice in it? With no "steamed frothed milk" making lovely frothy goodness on top? Well, I kind of expected a hot drink and instead got something with ice in it. What a way to start my day.

I'm afraid.

USATODAY.com - Israel attacks Islamic Jihad base in Syria

Israel invading Syria before we do. Sigh.

Las Vegas can be a surreal place to live. It’s like a 24 hour Disneyland. The reason this comes to mind is Roy Horn, of 'Siegfried and Roy’ fame got attacked by one of his cats today. I think it’s fucking funny, dipshit shouldn’t have been playing with wild animals. It’s still quite strange. The disembodied heads of Siegfried and Roy loom over the Strip as one of the most grotesque statues I’ve ever seen. I bet there are dozens of musicians and performers in the hospital waiting to see how he is.

The Third Man

So I saw the Third Man. I can be static sometimes, not wanting to move outside what I know, but when my friend brought this over I thought I might like it. I think Blade Runner is lifted frame for frame from this. I think I should buy it soon.

Equally Yoked - Company Profile

Why is it weird that I don't like pepper? People get so confused when I say that.

So I put up a profile in the Fark personals. When I did an advanced search, I got two results, both are women I know. One is a 6'3" firebreather with tats and scarification work that I know from a bar and the other is a coworker.

I fucking hate restaurants

After I stopped be quite so sick last night, I went to the Crown and Anchor. I really just wanted to get out of the house and I wasn’t feeling up to the Double Down. I think I made a poor choice. I got there before midnight, so it was still an older, dinner crowd. The kids don’t start piling in until after one. Some sport was being played on the television. Something that involves a ball somewhat shaped like an American football. I wasn’t paying too close attention. These old British men kept screaming “Game Over!” and other hoots and howls that put me very on edge. I fucking hate sports. I fucking hate brain dead idiots that scream over sports. I ordered a Guinness before I remembered that I need to stop drinking it (it’s brewed with fish guts) but I drank it anyway. I got a garden burger to eat. The burger came with some baked beans. That made absolutely no sense. I’m sure they were vegetarian (even though I’ve only seen the stuff with pork in it) but I didn’t touch them. They look like baby diarrhea. Next time I think I’ll just make some ramen at home and call it a night.

Being sick sucks ass.

So wednesday I went to the movies with two friends. The three of us piled into their japanese two door POS and headed off to the Palms. I hate being in cars, I get cranky and motion sick. I made it all the way (about 6 miles or so) without getting too out of whack so all was good. As we got out of the car, I remembered when I first moved to Las Vegas. We stayed on Arville which is right behind where the Palms now stands. It wasn't there at the time. There was just a large field and the incessant noise of construction. We moved from there a few months later and I haven't spent much time near there since. We entered the casino and passed the food court to the theater. The size of these places is so amazing. It's like having 100 malls tied together within a few miles. Several of the casinos have malls, in fact. We started with Anything Else. Woody Allen's new film. It was a little difficult to sit through in some parts, but overall I'd recommend it if you like Woody Allen. If you can't sit through any of his other films you should pass on this one. There were only a few other people in the theater, all of them far older than us. The screen was kinda small and shaky. It made me kinda sick. I kinda wanted to leave at that point, but my friends still wanted to stay. We went to Once Upon a Time in Mexico next. It was okay, worth my $8 at least. I thought all of Johnny Depp's scenes should not have made it past the cutting room. He was just hamming it up and really took away from the story. We went to the club after that and I started to feel better after a few beers.

McCarran Act

The ACLU sometimes confuses me. They brought lawsuits to delay elections based on the fact that some areas still had older voting machines and that would disenfranchise poorer constituents. The full 9th circuit of appeals just told them to piss off after a smaller portion of the judges granted the motion. I’ve almost always used an absentee ballot so I don’t really get it. The first time I voted I had one of the punch card ballots, but that was in San Bernardino county (one of the poorer areas of California) so I don’t know how other places do it. Maybe I should keep my nose out of it until I make law school.

Riding the bus on my way to work, this black guy with a cross, a freemason's symbol, and a small Star Trek model asked me "what's a blow-jer?" in reference to the Blogger shirt I was wearing. I wonder where people learn to read.

Oh dear, the Bangles have a new album out.

Starbucks is the Great Satan.

I’m about to drink a triple grande latte on an empty stomach. Wish me luck. Oh yes, and although I'm not advocating direct action against Starbucks, it's pretty funny when it happens.

Senator Feinstein Urges Department of Justice to Aggressively Enforce Bombmaking Statute:

"Washington, DC - U.S. Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif.) has called upon the Department of Justice to aggressively enforce a law that makes it illegal to distribute bombmaking information with the knowledge or intent that the information will be used to commit a violent federal crime. "
---------------------

Feinstein is a fascist pig.

Yahoo! News - Handel Masterpiece Gets 'Explicit' Label: "Handel Masterpiece Gets 'Explicit' Label
Fri Sep 19,12:48 PM ET

By MATTHEW FORDAHL, AP Technology Writer
SAN JOSE, Calif. - George Frideric Handel has at least one thing in common with Eminem (news - web sites) and other modern artists: his music was slapped with an 'explicit' warning at Apple Computer Inc.'s online iTunes Music Store. "

------------------------------

This is some seriously fucked up shit. What's next? A diaper on David?

I called someone petty bourgeois because she gardens.

The presidency

Retired Gen. Wesley K. Clark announced a bid for the Democratic nomination. A friend commented that the 13 families of the Illuminati saw Dean's rise in popularity and called in Clark to put an end to it. Heh, the ugly head of ZOG. Still, we haven't had a general in that office for a while, it would be interesting. Plus Clark is probably the only Democrat that's risen so high in the military.

"Here was a new generation, shouting the old cries, learning the old creeds, through a revery of long days and nights; destined finally to go out into that dirty gray turmoil to follow love and pride; a new generation dedicated more than the last to the fear of poverty and the worship of success; grown up to find all Gods dead, all wars fought, all faiths in man shaken...."

-F. Scott Fitzgerald

Today is the anniversary of a bomb attack on Wall Street. A horse drawn carriage stopped in front of the JP Morgan building during lunchtime and exploded. Over 30 were killed and hundreds were injured. The authorities blamed foreign anarchists for the action but no one was arrested. Imagine calling them anarchists today. Paint their faces with Italian features. Make them working class, living in ghettos. Now imagine someone committing this act today and paint their faces in your mind.

I was sad

and I was too lazy to get beer so I drank the last of my whiskey. I worked up the energy to go get beer and Guinness was on sale! Now I'm not quite as sad.

"Hey, Jack Kerouac

I think of your mother."

For some reason a memory of going with my girlfriend to see Natalie Merchant in concert in Berkeley a few years ago popped into my mind. Even though I'm at work my eyes are welling up slightly.

The Beer ABC's

So here's the plan: 26 varieties of beer, 6 people, and one night. Start with the Amstel Light and end with the Zywiec. Last man standing wins a liver transplant. Here's my proposed list. You got any better ideas?

Amstel
Bitburger
Carlsburg
Duvel
Einbecker
Franziskaner
Grolsh
Hosten
Imperial stout
Jahrhundert
Killians
Labatt
Molson
Newcastle
Old Rasputan
Pacifico
Quilmes
Red stripe
Stella artois
Tsingtao
Unibroue
Vlaskop
Warsteiner
Dos Equis
Yebisu
Zywiec

OBJECTIVE: Creation Education: Creation Science Fair 2001

South Waziristan

It's really scary how much I don’t know about geography. I know, it’s that cliché about the only reason Americans go to war is to learn geography. I knew where Pakistan is before the current conflict, I even knew something about it having some tribal areas. South Waziristan? I mean jebus h on a used condom, why would anyone be expected to know the name of that place?

Ramen recipes

E.L.F.

The AP is reporting an arrest in the Hummer arson in West Covina. Not that I advocate this sort of direct action, bit there's something undeniably cool about spray painting "I pollution" on a Hummer.

random quote of the day:

From a chat session with a friend.

A------: I was looking in the Wall Street Journal that someone in my building doesn't pick up so I get to read it, looking through the "Distinctive Properties." And there was an island off Bermuda for sale. And I thought of you instantly. Then I said, no.. no.. it would have to be in International Waters so he could traffic in stolen data and narcotics more easily.

Wow, what a long weekend. Tuesday night I left work early so I could get to bed in time to go apartment hunting on Wednesday. I managed to wake up a little after one so we had time to look around. I was cranky, sore, and tired so I’m sure I wasn’t the best companion that afternoon. After we stopped looking we went to this cool bar called the Freaking Frog. They were playing the Mummy when we walked in. What an awful film. Every shot looked like it was lifted from an Indiana Jones film. Their beer selection is quite nice. About 100 varieties of beer plus wine, mead and some snacks. One of my companions had a portobello mushroom melt while the other had a veggie wrap (sort-of a salad wrapped in a tortilla.) After the Mummy ended, they put on Léon. Much better. The woman in our group became somewhat agitated when I said how beautiful Natalie Portman is in that film. My companion said something about being too motherly to see anything but a child in Natalie’s 12 year old face. I was just joking anyway, I don’t think I’d tag a 12 year old. As I was up at the bar ordering a Stella Artois, I overheard two men talking about Tourette’s. Of course I dated a woman that had this odd condition so it sparked a conversation. I told them the story of the bizarre love triangle that I became involved with back in Bakersfield. They were quite amazed and impressed. I noticed a chess board that resembled mine off to the side of the bar. One of the two guys asked if I play. It turns out that he’s rated 1900 or so. Very good. We played a few 10 minute games but I had to stop because my companions were getting restless. We made the walk home to get ready for the club that night. We managed to find a ride to the club which saved us some time and shoe leather. I wore some military surplus so I was very green. As I was dancing, this woman in peach pants with large plastic earrings started dancing near me, kind of like she wanted to dance with me. My friends were dying of laughter. Of all the people in this club that she might get play from I’m rather low on the list. Later, she sat down next to me and started chatting. She asked me if I had studied sword fighting with two swords. I suppose she meant Kendo. Onlookers were trying not to cry from laughing so hard. I left there and went to the Double Down. I wasn’t there too long. I got home at about 3 and called a coworker that mentioned that she’d like to hang out. So she came over and we drank until 8 or so. I woke up at about 16:30 Thursday and remembered that I was going to see R.E.M. I threw on some clothes, ate some ramen, and we hit the road. I didn’t feel like getting the expensive tickets so we plunked down for the $20 seats. It was a good thing we were there so early, we got great seats. Kind of far back, but dead center. Wilco opened up. I tried to give them a chance but they were just boring. We went outside. Some guy had a small crystal ball and was talking crazy to us. He asked me if I wanted a reading. At first I thought he was selling Tarot readings like the fucking hippies do. Instead, he produced a worn paperback quotation dictionary and handed it to me. He wanted me to pick a random page and start reading. What a freak. Michael came out in a military uniform and went into World Leader Pretend and Finest Worksong. I was hoping for a more politically charged show but this was fine. The oldest song they did was Cuyahoga. I’d hoped for So. Central Rain or something else. I requested Pale Blue Eyes on their web site, but I got no love there. Oh well. Nightswimming was a bitch to get through. We cried like little babies. We went to the Double Down after and drank ourselves silly.

Johnny Cash is dead, the REM show was great, and I'm so hungover that I can barely see. Yeah.

MTV.com - News -Legendary Pixies To Reunite For Tour, Album

Waking up in the middle of a REM cycle is weird. You don't really remember any of the dreams, but you feel like you were just on a hallucinogen.

How is it that someone cool like Warren Zevon dies but Paul McCartney is still around?

Toilet paper always runs out when you least expect it.

Random quote of the day:

It's like a donkey show, if you go in a group you're curious, if you go alone you're looking for donkey dong.

Oh yeah, tech support horror stories.

"He's getting an error that says his account it locked."

"Do you see that little checkbox next to 'lock account'? Try unchecking that and clicking 'Save'."

This might be a bit much.

Simon and Garfunkel are setting up a new tour, consumer spending accounts for 75% of the American economy, my C.D.C. pants have a rip in them, and for some unknown reason I have an erection at work. The world is very quickly coming to an end and we’re all gonna fly off. As soon as gas hits European prices American hegemony will end. As soon as the WTO crumbles, genetically modified foods will cease to exist. You’re whining that your big car costs too much to fill up as you drive away from church back to your garage, pool, and barbecue pit. I don’t get it. I’m halfway through a 2 liter of Pepsi and most of the way through a Halloween sized bag of Reese’s Peanut Butter cups when I realize I have to take a piss. I think the caffeine is doing weird things to my body. My kidneys might be swollen, it’s sore under my arms. Saturday night? You don’t say. I have to work, thank you very much. It’s 8:30 and people are getting ready to go out. The real fun doesn’t start until much later, of course, this is Las Vegas after all, not Tokelau, some tiny island near New Zealand. Um, yeah.

Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?
Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing?
Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing?
Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing?
Then why call him God?
-Epicurus

Food run.

So I’m concerned about my diet. I think maybe part of the reason I’m always tired and moody might be a food problem. Maybe not enough food overall or maybe just not enough of the right kinds of food. I like to be able to make burritos, sandwiches, salads, potatoes (baked or fried with onions), spaghetti, falafel, couscous, lentil soup, and rice (plain, with beans, or with veggies.) What am I missing? I should probably cut out the dairy and get more organic stuff, but organic is tough in Las Vegas. Well, I added up my shopping list on Albertson’s site (they deliver in Vegas!) and here’s a sample:

canned black beans
soda
sour cream
spaghetti or angel hair pasta
canned refried beans (vegetarian)
Kool-aid
ramen
bread
lettuce
canned corn
canned peas
rice
couscous
sugar
margarine
tomatoes
salad dressing (ranch or vinaigrette, depending on my mood)
onions
potatoes
spaghetti sauce
dill pickles
pepper jack cheese
flour tortillas
veggie burgers
salsa
Morningstar veggie corn dogs
Morningstar veggie buffalo wings
listerine
yogurt
Flinstone’s chewable vitamins
Celery
Manischewitz soup mix (Hearty bean or lentil)

I don't know, maybe it was all the government cheese I had as a child.

M358

I think someone should tell the Russians to stop using submarines. They just lost one near the Barents Sea. It was tragic enough when they lost the Kursk. This one at least (it's reported at least) only had a skeleton crew of about 10, but still *any* loss of life is a tragic event. The fact that these men were in an artifact of a long-passed time that has lost all usefulness is just pathetic.

Okay, so instead of moving back in with dad, I might move in with a friend here in Vegas. I'm not sure how I feel about this; more later.

Rock over London! Rock on Chicago!

Rest in peace, Wesley Willis. Of all the music I've heard in my life you're is perhaps the most unique and heart felt. When I saw you last summer, you gave me a headbutt after signing the record I bought. You looked so happy behind the small booth, just selling your art and hugging anyone that would let you. We loved you as much as you loved us. When you got on stage, you seemed to change. I don't know if the voices you heard were telling you something then, but your sadness touched me. I couldn't stay for the whole show, I'm sorry. Perhaps I became too empathetic, I could feel the sadness you broadcast. Some people say that we were exploiting you, but I disagree. We, as an audience, exploit any artist that has an emotion to give. We were there to hear what you have to say and to see what the legend of Wesley Willis was really about. I hope your time in the hospice was pleasant enough and that you had as much love around you there as you did in concert. Sleep with the angels.

My alma mater, UCSC, made the Princeton Review's top 20 "Birkenstock-Wearing, Tree-Hugging, Clove-Smoking Vegetarians" colleges list. Well, I'm two out of the four at least. Good thing I only got narrative evaluations and not grades while I was there.

Dia de Los Muertos / Day of the Dead Recipes

This is a wonderful thing! I remember a few years ago (four or five) I went with a friend from Bakersfield to Los Angeles (via Greyhound) for a wonderful concert (Frontline Assembly, Spahn Ranch, KDC, and Switchblade Symphony) and to hang out on Olvera Street for Dia de Los Muertos. They had all these wonderful sugar skulls and paper dioramas. I got a shirt with a picture of Zapata rather cheaply. I wanted a poster, but they only had 8x10's. Do yourself a favor and make some pan de muerto this November 1st.

I heart the E.L.F.

Two Suspects Sought in Calif. SUV Arson
Sat Aug 23, 5:21 AM ET

By PAUL CHAVEZ, Associated Press Writer

WEST COVINA, Calif. - Two young men shown in a surveillance videotape released by the FBI (news - web sites) are the prime suspects in a $2.5 million vandalism and arson spree that targeted sports utility vehicles parked at car dealerships and on city streets, officials said.

Slogans such as "Fat, Lazy Americans" and "I (heart) pollution" were painted on vehicles during the early Friday attacks concentrated in Los Angeles' eastern suburbs in the San Gabriel Valley.

...

So the Earth Liberation Front (ELF, get it?) likes to burninate SUV dealerships. Don't try this at home, kids. I'm not sure if one should say "take the trust fund and get a position of power to change the world" like one commentator on Fark or "eat the rich". Either way.

¿?

Poop.

I'm beginning to think I was a loan shark in a previous life and I'm paying for it now.

me gusta los chicos pequeños

Well not really. I just like saying that.

Prison toilets

Ebay is fucking nuts. Today I found someone selling a stainless steel prison toilet. I really want one. Not as much as I want the morgue table, but close.

The only news source you'll never need.

Buy me this.

Welcome to Oriental Trading Company

Fuck the east coast.

I wanted to say this yesterday but my cable modem went down. So I was up at 16:00 to watch Cops as I usually do on my days off. I launched Trillian and tried to join my favorite IRC channel (#subgenius of FEFnet) but I couldn't get in. The network was in netsplit mode and you couldn't join most channels. So we setup a temporary channel and I found out that most of the north east was without power and FEFnet is mostly in and around NYC. Joy. And to top it off Fox aired news instead of Cops. At least LAPD was on another station. There’s something about constant news coverage that bothers me. Unprepared and usually incorrect information being spewed out by spin doctors. Not to mention the hellish inter-titles ("Blackout 2003! The largest in history! We were there!”) I swear it’s like President Bush (Sr.) taking credit for the fall of the Berlin Wall. Fuck it all.

The MDI Air Car - the world´s cleanest car.

so this is me at 13

How to make effective picket signs

Sherman Austin has a posse

Well, sortof. It seems Zack De La Rocha is heading up a benefit show for Mr. Austin. It also seems that he wasn't just convicted for posting bomb making instructions, but for advocating violent revolution. Sometimes I'm a tool for the Left.

Ho hum.

Another day off. I woke up at like one or something and didn't feel like staying in bed so I got up and did a tiny bit of cleaning. Well, I took a few things out of the fridge and started a load of dishes. I went to start boiling some water to cook some noodles when I noticed the element on the stove isn't working. Add that to the list of shit I have to take care of. I need to have the garbage disposal looked at as well. All I have to do is stop in the office and tell them about it and it'll be done in a few days, but I sleep during the day and I don't want some putz in here when I'm passed out. Plus I'd have to actually clean some. At least take out all the beer bottles. Too much energy required. I think I'll just drink my soda and read Fark.

I'm such a radical

The Kronstadt Uprising

Retooling Dissent

Indymedia rocks my world.

Sun Aug 17, 6PM Anarchists Face Communists in Soccer Tournament : SF Indymedia

Winston Churchill - False Quotes: "The only traditions of the Royal Navy are rum, sodomy and the lash"

>bt: brain terminal

Tribulation dot Com / Great Tribulation dot Com - Bible Prophecy!

Rapture Ready

Some links

Find your dream date quiz
http://www.heavengallery.com/fenslerfilms/
http://mtsu32.mtsu.edu:11178/171/pyramid.htm
http://www.livejournal.com/users/siamang/43717.html
This is really scary

Work sucks.

So I get in to work today and the phones are extremely busy. Are we having network problems? No, there's a new worm screwing with people's computers and they seem to think it's their ISP's problem. Jesus, that's like calling Ford when your car stereo won't get good reception on just one channel. Feh.

--------------------
Man Gets 1 Year for How-To on Explosives
--------------------

The Sherman Oaks resident, now 20, posted instructions for making Molotov cocktails and other devices on an anarchist Web site.

By David Rosenzweig
Times Staff Writer

August 5 2003

A 20-year-old Sherman Oaks man was sentenced to one year in federal prison Monday for offering recipes on how to make Molotov cocktails and other explosive devices on an anarchist Web site he operated.

The complete article can be viewed here.

This really fucking pisses me off. “Land of the free” my skinny white ass. I’m not a criminal and I don’t have any grand plans to bomb anything but I like to know how such things work. I’ve read up on Ricin manufacture, Molotov cocktails, synthesizing drugs, and whatever else I could find. I’ve read military handbooks, poorly constructed web sites, and even very detailed Usenet postings. If I wanted to bomb something, I certainly would not be so stupid as to advertise the fact that I know how to make bombs on a web site. I’d want to be able to get away with it. Sherman Austin, the guy who got arrested, is (was) the webmaster for http://www.raisethefist.com, a nice source for anarchist information. It's stuff like this that makes people go postal, not the availability of information.

Here's mud in your eye

I went to Blogspot to see if tenebras.blogspot.com was available. Of course it's not. What is there is just a shell, a forgotten project with just a single post, dated Saturday, October 12, 2002. It is a poem in Portuguese. I was somewhat intrigued by this so I tossed it into Babelfish for a translation and then into Google for a citation. It turns out that it's called "O Fantasma" and was written by Álvares de Azevedo.

Sou o sonho de tua esperança,
tua febre que nunca descansa,
O delírio que te há de matar!...

I am the dream of your hope,
your fever that never rests,
the delirium that has you to kill...

(Translation by Babelfish)

Heh, an IRC channel and two naked people on webcams. It's gonna be a good night.

Anorexic, alcoholic artfag ISO fat chick for sodomy and gag reflex experiments. Must bring own Smiths and Cure CDs.

The broadcast TV schedule in this market bugs me. Cops and LAPD are BOTH on at 4pm, there's nothing on at 5, then the Simpsons at 6. Move LAPD or Cops ahead a freaking hour already!

Old pic #1
#2

So since I lack the cash to buy beer until midnite I made some coffee. I'm kinda hoping I drink enough to be restless and clean and not so much that I just lay there shaking with bad cramps.

In other news, there's a proposed amendment to allow people that have been US citizens for 20 years to be president. Of course at the moment (per the original text of the constitution) you have to been born here to be president. This amendment is being introduced by Orrin Hatch. It would mean that Ah-nold could run for president. Geh.

Love advice from a friend:

"Some other lessons I've learned in life:

Don't ever date anyone who drinks harder than me.

Don't ever date anyone who runs slackware.

Don't ever date someone who cries just before, during, or after sex.

Don't ever date someone who tries to convert you.

Don't marry someone just to escape a bad situation (Thanks for this
one, mom and dad!)

You'd think these things were all common sense but we stupid humans
have learned the hard way over the years. What the Hell. I'm smarter
now."

Geh. So I finally got a power supply to troubleshoot my new pc equipment. The new motherboard didn't boot so I put the old one back it and it came on. At least I'm not on that 200MHz machine for a while.

Damn, I go so interested in the PBS show on the Spartans that I forgot that MASH was on.

So one of the major Xtian cults has elected an openly gay bishop. Maybe this is one more nail in the already buried coffin of our prudish nonsense. I hope we get at least government recognized gay marriage or, even better, abolition of all this religious nonsense.

So I just got a Friendster account. It’s a cool idea, it makes circles of friends much easier to see. With just a few friends added, my circle went to 60,000 or so.

I got my first testimonial from a friend; it made me laugh.

“jim is simultaneously the most obnoxious and the most loveable person i know. he can drink a man three times his size under the table and still go home and round it off with a few shots of whiskey before bed. he's freakishly strong for his size. and stunningly good in bed. even if you're not into sodomy”

That’s about right, I think. At 115 lbs. I can drink a 12 pack on an empty stomach and still be down for some blitz chess. I can move everything I own by myself. Well, the couch would be difficult to get down the stairs; I’d probably need to cut my nails. Good in bed? Well, I’ve had some practice. Most of the women I’ve been with have had problems getting off so I take my time to make sure my partner feels as good as I do. I don’t like to just stick it in and get off, but I’m learning that some women can get off in a few minutes just like guys. Oh yeah, sodomy. Let's not forget sodomy.

So the US is sending our sons and daughters to fight in Africa, Liberia to be precise. On a news broadcast earlier, I heard that we are only sending about 20 of our uniformed soldiers there, the rest will be mercenaries. The newscaster didn’t say “mercenary”, she said “contractor”. When did this strange piece of spin happen? Call a spade a spade for Dobbs’ sake.

I just viewed my blog to check what the last post looked like and the counter said #808.

"I wish I was oceansize"

Spuds' brother brought us a present once, a branch of Sage. I didn't know what to make of it until he explained that it banished evil spirits. Spuds left it for me when she moved out. I'm not religious, or even spiritual, but when I burn it I don't have as many bad dreams.

For some reason I woke up at noon. I closed my eyes and didn’t get out of bed (just out of spite, I think) until 2:10. I was hoping I’d miss the bus, but no such luck. Sitting at the bus stop, this corn-fed, blonde, mid-western woman with bad veins on her too-pale legs is babbling on her mobile phone. I try not to overhear but some sentences leak through. Things that are totally inappropriate say under any circumstance in my opinion, much less leave as a message from a mobile phone sitting at a bus stop on Spencer and Flamingo in central Las Vegas. “We were together in a past life” and “I have a daughter that wants to be born” are two lines that I remember clearly. The rest was crazy hippie shit. She called a second time after running out of time on the first message. After she finished with the call, she struck up a conversation with me by commenting on my nail polish (I’m wearing Revlon #360, “KhakiZING”, an odd polish that changes from purple to green depending on which angle the light is bouncing off it.) She asked me if I’d been clubbing the night before. She explained that she’d lived in Manhattan, had an apartment in the Village, and had been around such things for a very long time. She told me a story about someone she knew dating someone in Jesus and Mary Chain, she went to a show. She felt out of place since her hair was blonde (she said “no roots”, I thought “do the cuffs match the collar?”) and not total white or black. Of course I think it’s odd that this woman that just moments before was spouting psychobabble into her phone and wearing light tan shorts over varicose veins would know of this band (they’re relatively unknown, even to the Smiths/Cure/Depeche Mode set) so I listen a little more. She spoke of seeing Dave Gahan backstage at one of their (Depeche Mode’s) concerts so strung out on heroin he could barely move yet throwing a fit over the fact that there was meat on the buffet table. She claims to have said “Oh sure if the heroin doesn’t kill you I don’t think the lamb will!” I’m not exactly sure what she was doing in that situation, I got the impression she did some kind of legal work but why the hell would she be taking the bus in Las Vegas? She was right about Depeche being vegetarians (as well as Howard Jones) so if she was hallucinating she’s at least done some research.

www.disgruntledhousewife.com/

http://javajanesworld.com/

"So take that look out of here it doesn't fit you
Because it's happened doesn't mean you've been discarded
Pull up your head off the floor—come up screaming
Cry out for everything you ever might have wanted
I thought that pain and truth were things that really mattered
But you can't stay here with every single hope you had shattered"

Dude, mormons on my doorstep.

Oh, and just to top that day off, I broke a nail as I was leaving my apartment and found out a friend almost died. Feh.

"I don't know what to do with my life"

So after work on Monday, I was dropped of on Spencer and Flamingo by a coworker. I began walking past the SRO (which used to be Club 662, owned by Suge Knight and his destination the night Tupac got capped) towards Play of the Day, a smaller bar right next to Albertson's. I got to it but something about it made me turn around and head home. I took off my backpack and rinsed off as well as I could in the cool water. I left again, undecided as to my destination. I wound up at Cheer's, just across from UNLV. It has a seedy, downtime vibe with bad metal on the jukebox and emo kids playing pool. I had a few Newcastles and a shot of Jager. It was enough to take the edge off and I stumbled home. My apartment is rather messy at the moment and seeing it under the pale light of a flashlight made it seem pathetic. I went to sleep on the couch hoping the sunlight would wake me up early enough to go to the power company and get to work on time. I got up at 10-something and managed to leave at about 11. Forgetting my bus schedule, I walked to Maryland Parkway. The lunchtime traffic is awful there. There were over a dozen people waiting for the bus. One finally arrived at about 11:30. I had to take it all the way down to Sahara, the edge of what I know of Las Vegas. It's a rather busy intersection. I remember a friend that takes the Sahara bus telling me that it sucks ass but I haven't had much experience with it. Before I got a bank account, I had to take this bus to get to a casino that would cash my check (I also didn't have a local ID so cashing my check was an issue for a few months.) The bus took 45 minutes to get there, it's supposed to run every 30 minutes. That intersection is bleak, like much of this city I suppose. There is a KFC, Taco Bell, auto audio shop, 7-11, and a few other stores but absolutely no grass or shade. At least it was only 100 degrees and not hotter. I got a Gatorade from the 7-11. When the bus did finally show up it's airconditioner was on nuclear winter, cooling me down some. Some rather dumb Canadians were sitting next to me, fat as americans but better groomed. They had left the comfort of the Strip to go to some fat lady shop called Joanne's or something. It was funny to hear them try to say "Decatur", the name of the street the shop is on, "Deck-a-tour" instead of "Dee-cater". It took quite a while to get all the way up to Jones (again on the far edge of what I know of this city) but I was relieved to finally be there. It took me a moment to find the electric company (it's a really huge building that you have to try not to find) and make my way in. There is an express lane for paying bills so I tried that one first. No dice, get in the long queue with people screaming and drooling on themselves. Great, I thought this was going to be somewhat better than the DMV or welfare office. It took maybe a half hour to get to a window. The woman behind the counter was somewhat dispassionate. "Are you paying the full balance or just the past due?" I thought I'd have to pay way more than that, so I paid just the past due so I'd have some cash for ramen and smokes. I asked if they could have the power on the next day, she said it should be on that night. At least I have an excuse to still go in to work, air conditioning and bandwidth. As I was crossing Sahara on my way back to the bus, the bus just passed me. I sortof lucked out because it was an express bus; I wouldn't have to wait that long for the next one but it would take longer to get to work. On the bus finally, we pass another bus that had broken down 40 minutes earlier. That had to be rough for some people. A rather loud man from that bus sat next to me, holding a 128 meg SDRAM chip. He is upgrading from a 64 meg chip. I tell him he paid too much for it (I'm worse than a Jew when it comes to computer gear.) He couldn't pronounce things well, like he was deaf or something, but he talked quite a bit. I didn't mind listening for a few. He was telling me about his computer. I'm glad he has something in his life, a way to make connections and a way to find entertainment. He lives on disability and would have had a rather more difficult life twenty years ago, I think. Having a PC with internet access is better than having a cat for the homebound, IMHO. He wasn't all that bad, but his voice bothered me after a time so I moved back in the bus at one of the stops. I hope he wasn't offended. I got all the way down to Pecos (clear the fuck across town by my standards, but less than half of the city if you count the suburbs and such) where I had to wait for another bus. Of course that one was late as well, but I still managed to get to work by 15:40, just 10 minutes late. Needless to say I was beat, the whole adventure took 4 and a half hours. Work went by fairly quickly and I left a little early.

Poop. The electric company has a drive through window open until midnight. I could ask a coworker to drive me there, but I'm too embarrassed.

Bloody hell. I ordered a vegetarian burrito and a cheese quesadilla from a Mexican restaurant and the quesadilla came back with meat. I don’t know what it is about Nevada, it seems like 1950s meat and potatoes, a pack of Marlboro’s, and a double Scotch on the rocks.

I’m such a shlemiel. I got my power turned off again. I’ve got enough gelt in the bank this time at least, but the payment office is so far away. I woke up at one and the power was still on, I set my alarm for two and shut my eyes again. By the time I reopened them, the power was off. I could have called in late to work and taken the bus out to the power company’s office but I really didn’t have the energy. I just went in to work. I guess I’ll go to bed early tonight and try to get out there tomorrow. Moving to Bakersfield is really starting to become more appealing. Even if I despise the petty bourgeois aspirations of what little family I have at least I would eat more regularly.

A: Hey, does reading books about anarchy at a security post count as detournment?
t: no, just irony
A: Okay. Wasn't sure.
t: and in SF it's called "Fishing for a date"
A: hehehe. If I was reading it at a bus stop, yes.

Make baby Jesus cry

http://www.hamjudo.com/notes/cdrom.html
http://www.electricstuff.co.uk/cdzap.html

This is scary as fuck.

And so this same phone rep raises her hand a few moments later. Disaster! Someone bought a new computer! So do we have to add his already existing email account into the support page to get it to work? Or do we just set it up in Outlook Express?

I can't believe just how stupid people are. As some of you know, I work in a call center that provides technical support for an ISP. Dealing with stupid people calling in is one thing, but dealing with stupid phone reps is another. Let me give you an example. Someone calls in wanting to add an email address. We have a support page to do this. The phone rep runs the caller through setting up the email address into Outlook Express and gives me a blank stare when for some reason the mail account doesn’t work. She didn’t add it in the web page so the email account doesn’t exist. I tell her how to do this 4 times, twice even showing her where in the page to do this. I get blank stares in response. How difficult is it to follow written instructions that were read to you during 5 weeks of training? Why can’t you follow a 4 step process that is verbally and visually illustrated several times? Sometimes I’m amazed that I don’t go postal.

"Won't you say the words that I can't say"

A friend from Bakersfield came to visit me today. I thought he was going to be here tomorrow, so I didn't get up until 16:30. After I woke, I did some cleaning, had a beer or two. A knock on the door, I thought it was a friend that lives near me, but it was my friend from Bakersfield. Someone I play chess with. We played chess, backgammon, Trivial Pursuit. Two other friends came over. We played Trivial Pursuit for a while, then a fourth friend came over. My visitor from Bakersfield got sick from the drink, we took care of him. The two friends that live near me left to go home. One of them came back with a painting for me. I got paint on my hand (I don't mind) and an old Nirvana shirt, made just after Kurt died; it has a picture of him as a child. The only other person to hurt a shirt of mine like that got punched in the nose a year or so ago.

To back up something I said before: "Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution" -H. L. Mencken.

"A loaded gun won't set you free
So you say"

"A dream too tired to come true"

I thought food would make me feel better, I'm having a crying spell again anyway.

I wish I had a microwave right now. It takes 2 minutes to cook a potato in a microwave, an hour to cook one in the oven.

The past few months, I've kept my stuffed friends in a corner, covered with a sheet and laying on a pillow. I'm embarrassed to masturbate in front of them. I don't want them to see daddy being bad. Tonight I got one out, a cute black kitty with big, out-stretched arms. He likes to hug.

From a friend: "How do you dig when you've already been living on granite?"

Walking from my apartment towards Flamingo to the bus stop, there is a broken, abandoned stroller strewn across the lawn of one of the business parks.

"I know a girl
a girl called Party"

New Jane's Addiction video is on. They gave it up in the early 90s. They should have kept to that.

Someone just said that I look like Jim Reid of Jesus and Mary Chain.

I just realized that I will probably never see Santa Cruz again.

From Dr. Dean's interview on “NBC NEWS’ MEET THE PRESS.”

"The position I’ve always taken is that it’s the church’s business to decide who they can marry and who they can’t marry."

By extension, marriage is the province of the church. We strive for a government that is separate from churchly matters. Ergo, marriage is not something that should have any legal status. Q.E.D.

Rain. Thunder. It's still 110 out, windy. The thunderclaps shake the ground, the car tires are slipping on the hot, wet asphalt. I should put on Tones on Tail, like Spuds would do for the summer rains. We would light all the candles and listen to the stereo for a few hours. Sometimes we would sit on the patio and just let the rain hit us. I still have the blinds drawn. I walked to the store without an umbrella, my shirt dried almost as soon as it got wet.

A few years ago, a gregarious friend of mine came to visit from San Bernardino bearing the gift of a bottle of "Shine On" corn whiskey. I'm not sure why he brought it, but it was New Year's eve and we had to get tossed so what the hell. There were three of us, just drinking ourselves into liver problems. So I just drank the last shot of that bottle. "To Life!"

Finally broke down and bought shit to kill the ants. They went away very quickly.

ants are taking over my apartment, the kitchen's a mess, I'm hungover from a two day bender, there's nothing on tv, and one of my computers is about to take a dump. i hate myself i want to die.

It sucks, I'm finally home at a time MASH is on TV and it's an episode that I have on DVD. Bleh.

I just love the media. Yesterday, Vincent Brothers, accused of shooting 5 people in Bakersfield, CA was supposed to work at Fremont Elementary, a school I attended for a year. Now, he is supposed to work for Emerson Junior High, a school I don't know.

Your [sic] all gay

Leviticus 19:28:

"'You shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor tattoo any marks on you. I am Yahweh."

This is an accusation:" If you called your dad you could stop it all."

"Someday we'll find a rainbow connection, the lovers, the dreamers, and me"

I just noticed a coworker that I thought didn't smoke has an open pack of Djarum Specials at her desk. On a day I didn't bring my cloves!

It's going to be 110 degrees tomorrow. I need to move.

INDIANAPOLIS (AP) -- Estel Wood "Ed" Kelley, co-chairman of The Steak 'n Shake Co. and a food industry executive credited with introducing Americans to brands such as Tang, Grey Poupon mustard and Cool Whip, has died. He was 86.

the Fully Informed Jury Association

“I’m gonna kick tomorrow.” I went to bed early last night. The debauchery from the evening of the 4th into the morning of the 5th left me in some pain. I spent too much money at the Double Down so I really didn’t want to stay up late last night drinking and smoking. I ripped a copy of Logan’s Run that a coworker loaned me and then pulled the 13” television set (that Spuds was nice enough to leave me when she moved out) into the bedroom. I vaguely remember eating a slice of cold pizza and a bowl of ramen, but I could be wrong. I watched some Nova episode about fireworks and some police chase video show before drifting into sleep. My eyes reopened at about noon and I suppose I could have gotten of bed then to eat or do some cleaning or something, but instead I went back to sleep and didn’t get up until 2. No booze and just one clove all day.

Vic Chesnutt is on one of the late night shows. A few years ago, I went to San Francisco with some women to see a free show for Food Not Bomb's 10th anniversary. I went to see Fugazi, but Vic put on a much better show. I don't think the girls were really into him, but I'm glad I got to see the show. I hope I'm not living on memories and there are still many more to be made. By the way, thanks girls. That was one of the highlights of that year for me. :*

I really hate to be a whiny vegetarian, but Las Vegas is light years behind California in so many ways. Some coworkers are ordering lunch and I look at the menu, the only thing I can have is a garden salad or a vegetarian pizza. None of the pasta dishes and none of the burgers are vegetarian. It’s sad when Denny’s has a more diverse menu than a “better” restaurant.

I'm watching the Christmas episode of Invader Zim. I keep getting flashes of how I'd explain Christmas to a child, my child. I don't want to have kids, mind you, but it's disturbing still. "Santa doesn't exist, really. He is beyond what we call 'real', but please accept these gifts that you know are from other people as gifts from something else, a hope and a dream."

JTHM moment. Here I was feeling all depressed and shit then I started reading the Urban Dictionary and stumbled on this definition of Blog:

"
"BLOG"

See Queef

*pfffffffffffffffffffftttt*
"

Crisis averted.

I'm going insane. I really don't want to be here any more, but I don't have any place better to be.

Got a Blogger T-shirt. It's cute.

I took a nap. I woke up at 2pm, drank some beer, then took a nap at 6pm. I woke up at 9 pm to the sound of dipshit porchmonkies setting off bottle rockets over this 25 year old apartment complex. You wonder if being poor rots people's minds.

I just got called "angst on a stick".

Hung out with some friends last night. We were driving to get some cigarettes and beer when we passed by this dive on Maryland Parkway, just across from UNLV. On a lark, I say we should go in. My companions agree for some really odd reason. We order our beers (two bottles of Guinness for them, a Newcastle for me) and settle in. The pool tables were free so I talked them into a game. A hispanic boy played a round with us. He had no idea what were are about, where we are from. I tried to explain the music I listen to, but that is just useless without a reference point. We had a few shots, the bartender poured doubles. Nice. I didn't wake up today until 6pm. We were out very late. It will be difficult to transition to a place where bars close at 2am.

Working every day is exhausting. I don't know how people do it.

My friend Alan just started a blog. Go there.

I gave someone two thumbs up and I had a bright flash of a moment from Twin Peaks. "I've heard about you!" It reminds me of someone I love and miss. I get sad too much.

Comments are back. Still fucked up, but I'll figure out how to make them look right later.

Weird dreams last night. Dreamt I was an extra in the Munster’s house and Grandpa was yelling at me all night. Falling asleep early does strange things to one’s sleep cycle.

"The answers that you seek will never be found at home"

"I'm gonna kick tomorrow"

"Love is an Angel, the sky is its Lust"

Made egg salad for the first time. I don't have all the spices and no celery, but I used some onion and it tastes okay. I'll know better once it's cooled off. Maybe I should add some pickle.

I cleaned the ants and ate. I'm full, but I still don't feel quite right. I wish I could go somewhere.

Left to go home early. I think I'm falling apart. Ants in the kitchen are bugging me.

I think a coworker just made a pass at me.

Wow am I beat. I've been partying since tuesday night. A friend came into town. I hadn't seen him in three years. Crazy canadian is moving to Seattle for grad school. Then I went to the Crown and Anchor last night. Feh, I need a few weeks off.

Last night I put on R.E.M.'s "Automatic for the People" and tonight it's 10,000 Maniacs' Unplugged.... Very bad for morale. It's not a good idea to listen to music you lived 10 years ago when your 10th year high school reunion is nearing.

"There isn't a number, you can call the payphone"

Just went shopping. I got a hundred dollars worth of FOOD of all things. My supplies were very low, I didn't even have butter. Rumors of friends visiting made things worse.

There are too many ghosts in this apartment. I keep burning sage, but it isn't doing much good.

I'm not being very nice to my two or three regular readers. Hell, one of you is away from any HTTP access for a few more days so I have one or two readers! I should still be barfing up some dead kittens for the studio audience. I don't know what to say. I know that if a suicidal person suddenly becomes very calm you should become more concerned. Once they have made the final decision, the rest becomes easier. Make sure nothing seems too easy for me.

It's not a cycle if you never come out of it.

"And if you're somewhere out there
Passed out on the floor"

New template. What do you think? Oh, also remember to go to my new url, http://members.cox.net/tenebras if you aren't using http://www.tenebras.tk to get here. My ISP is changing things around.

God, I’m cranky today. Everyone is getting on my nerves. I’ve only had one cup of tea, maybe it’s caffeine related. Or I could just be hormonal.

"Oh mama dear we're not the fortunate ones"

I want to write, but I don't have the energy right now. I always have something to say, you know that. Posting is just difficult now.

My audio collection resembles many of the tape mixes that I have made or were made for me in the last ten years. I still love those tapes; the audio quality was strange and makes you feel like you are sorting through the brain of the person making them. The clicks and tape noise put you at that exact moment.