This might be a bit much.

Simon and Garfunkel are setting up a new tour, consumer spending accounts for 75% of the American economy, my C.D.C. pants have a rip in them, and for some unknown reason I have an erection at work. The world is very quickly coming to an end and we’re all gonna fly off. As soon as gas hits European prices American hegemony will end. As soon as the WTO crumbles, genetically modified foods will cease to exist. You’re whining that your big car costs too much to fill up as you drive away from church back to your garage, pool, and barbecue pit. I don’t get it. I’m halfway through a 2 liter of Pepsi and most of the way through a Halloween sized bag of Reese’s Peanut Butter cups when I realize I have to take a piss. I think the caffeine is doing weird things to my body. My kidneys might be swollen, it’s sore under my arms. Saturday night? You don’t say. I have to work, thank you very much. It’s 8:30 and people are getting ready to go out. The real fun doesn’t start until much later, of course, this is Las Vegas after all, not Tokelau, some tiny island near New Zealand. Um, yeah.