Unscheduled days off are nice. I almost wish I had cable television. I remember sick days as a child, my mother would make me soup and I’d watch cartoons and some movies, never leave bed. I guess I could clean my apartment or something, but I’m just geeking. I’m listening to music and remembering. It’s only 5 PM, but it feels like 1 AM, I’m not used to doing this so early. I’m very happy right now, it seems like everything is in place. It’s a wonderful respite from the self-loathing of the past few weeks. Things are picking up; I’m starting to remember that people care about me and that I am a part of a wonderful community of friends. I only wish a few of them were here right now. I feel like putting up some of my posters. My apartment has been so bare, I’ve neglected it. It’s not like many people will see my decorations but it feels so wonderful to come home to a bright explosion of blue Christmas lights and vivid posters. When I lived with my mother, more than 10 years ago now, my room was wallpapered with film posters. Clips from some disturbing moments in cinema filled the eye. I had a large American flag covering the ceiling, covering the light. When you walked in, you could only smell the moth ball and leather scent of a military warehouse. You could barely see. My apartment in Bakersfield had more light, but the clutter made up for it. There were posters, music and computer equipment everywhere. I’ll make this in to a home yet.