Narg, ack, splat

Now that you've completed the "Zippy Tutorial", read
this unsolicited (and real) e-mail from a previously
perplexed Zippy reader------proof that you, too,
can----UNDERSTAND ZIPPY!!!

So I leave for kanukistan in a few hours. I'm busy getting drunk enough to be able to deal with the rest of the world; this could take some time. My overweight Samoan lawyer advised that I pack a
suitcase of drugs and head to Vegas, but I'm already in Vegas so I didn't quite see where this was going. I think there is still some Columbian Marching Powder in the salt shaker, and some beer in the fridge. Oh yea, and the Early Times whisky in the freezer. Geh,
I'd have a better time drinking the lighter fluid hooch I have. It's about half gone, mostly due to evaporation, I think. No one in their right mind has drank any of that, which is why I've had a few sips here and there.

Toronto Tomorrow: Light snow. Winds will increase during the afternoon. High 29F. Winds WSW at 15 to 25 mph. Chance of snow 50%. Snowfall around one inch.

Snow?!? I saw snow once, a mountain in the back of this Mexican's '67 Impala. Wait, no, about 3 years ago, the only time in recorded history it snowed in Bakersfield. We were on some of Leary's best; it was purple with a pink moon on it. No cramps, just visuals and this man walks in the room, I think I know him. He's got long hair and he's wearing a leather jacket. There's white shit all over his jacket, I thought he'd lost a pillow fight or had to eat the cracker. He said it was 'snow'. Since we were high as a kite, I didn't think he meant Cocaine so we went outside. This white stuff was falling from the sky.
"Do you know the street value of this mountain!!!"
Um, or something.