My power is off. After paying rent I didn’t have enough to pay the electric bill. I thought I had another week, enough time to wait for another paycheck, but oh well. Of course I can’t be bothered to call the company and beg for another week. So Tuesday, I went to stay with some friends. The four of them were so busy with work, finals, etc. that I didn’t see them much. They just pointed me to the liquor cabinet, turned on the Sundance Channel, and let me be. I spent over a year spending so much time with the two brothers, I really miss their company. They both work and attend university full time so it can be difficult to see them now. I met them through an ex-girlfriend, someone they had known for years. We moved to Las Vegas together. Now I wonder how much I’ll ever be able to see them. With the friends I have in San Bernardino, San Jose, San Francisco, Bakersfield, et al, it seems mostly lost. There are a few that I still email and even call from time to time but most are just wisps of shadow and smoke now.
I guess I should stop feeling sorry for myself. It’s just as much my fault as anything else. I can’t help feeling isolated, but I’m responsible for the conditions of isolation. Feh.